WHO AND WHAT IS RULING MY THOUGHTS?
I will go deeper into the material from last time and will start with the family.What did your parents say about you when you were in the womb of your mother? They might have had plans for your appearance and what sex they wanted. They might even had dreams about your choice of vocation. Some parents want the children to complete the dreams they couldn´t do themselves. If the child was not planned, it might not be wanted, but abortion is not an option. The parents might go around with lots of worries and these worries are clearly expressed. The parents might even talk negatively about the child. I have clearly written that words are creative. You as a parent can choose to talk positive about the child even if your emotions are saying something else. Words of blessings might change your own emotions and will have a positive effect on the child in the mother´s womb.
Many people experience rejection. It might even run in the family or it can start when you are in the womb of your mother. Rejection can be a feeling, but can also be a demon. I can sometimes see it like an octopus. It has an effect on many parts of your life.
Parents have a lot of power in forming their children. We are influenced by inheritance, but we are also very much influenced by the environment we grow up in. I remember that a pastor described the joy of a mother when the child started to walk. The child might grab the table-cloth and things would fall down, but the mother was saying: “See, my child can walk.” I started to cry because my mother would have become angry if I had done that as a small child. I was thinking to myself: “I did not do it on purpose.” I was very influenced by what my mother said and did and it has even influenced me as an adult. I recently talked to a person going around with a bad conscience for the choice of her vocation. Her father wanted her to be something else. I sensed that they had some unhealthy ties to each other and broke the ties and delivered her from controlling spirits. He was controlling her even if she had managed to make her own decisions. My own sister was offered to get a free education as an opera-singer when she was in her teens, but my parents refused. They did it because they were afraid that she would come under some wrong influence, but my sister regretted it for many, many years.
Parents are not the only ones influencing the children. Teachers are also having a great impact on the children, especially when they are young. When the children grow older, they might become rebellious, but they want to make their own decisions more and more. Back to the teachers. One teacher sent me home from school because I lost a masque on the knitting material. Another time she took my drawing and showed the whole class and ridiculed it. Do you believe that I like knitting or enjoy drawing? No, her words and actions stopped those interests in my life.
The leaders for children and youth in the church can also have a great influence on us. I received Jesus as my Savior when I was seven years old. It was no manipulation and I experienced it as something positive during a meeting for children. In my church we had a youth pastor and he was very kind and he gave me and some others a lot of responsibilities, maybe too much, but we felt valuable and trusted. Another older pastor told me to leave a meeting when I was 14. I laughed at something he thought I shouldn’t and I became afraid of him. I did not do it on purpose. I grew up in a religious atmosphere and I thought God was very strict and judgmental and this pastor confirmed my religious thinking. When I grew older, I needed to hear that God is good and loves me unconditionally. I needed to hear about His grace and change my thinking about God.
I have today counselling with people from churches with a lot of control and facades. They might have seen leaders living a double life and they might have turned their back to God since they have looked upon their leader as God. Some will not go to another church and some are bitter or confused. We read in Matthew 18:6 that if someone leads a person to sin, it would be better for him to have a millstone around his neck to drown. There are many Christian leaders giving a wrong picture of God. Other leaders misuse their position and start a very wrong sexual relationship with someone in the church, maybe through counselling. Many children of missionaries were sexually misused in boarding schools in the sixties. I am not only asking about who is ruling your thoughts, but these things can influence the rest of your life.
Any kind of encroachment creates wounds and many questions.
I would recommend those of you with many question marks to stop trying to find answers. It is most of the time, wasted time. Give the question marks to the Lord. Paul says in the letter to the Galatians that we are called to freedom, not anarchy, but freedom in Christ.
START TO THINK LIKE JESUS!