1st of December
I tried to change the subject, but there was no flow in the Holy Spirit. I realized then that the Holy Spirit had more to say about this subject, but from another angle.
I will start by quoting psalm 118 and the eight verse: “It is better to trust in the Lord Than to put confidence in man.” It referres to psalm 62 and the eight verse:”Trust in Him at all times you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”
I will insist on saying that relations are one of those factors creating the biggest problems for people. That is especially true in those countries where hunger and poverty do not come as number one. I must quickly add that there is nothing else that can give us so much pleasure and enjoyment. It is also an area where we lack a lot of knowlede and therefore a lot of misunderstanding arises. I can as an example mention that many women believe that men think like them and the other way around. God created us to be different, but to fulfill each other. If we would know and understand the differences, there would be less divorces.
A woman might talk a lot about a problem, but the man might say: “What do you really want?” She might be very upset and emotional, maybe sad, and she needs to get the air out. He wants to have a solution. We read in psalm 62 that we should pour our heart before the Lord, but we women want to pour it out before men. That is not necessarily wrong as long as it does’nt lead to gossip. I still believe we can learn to pour our heart out more before Him. HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE TIME AND HE WILL PUT AWAY EVERYTHING ELSE IN ORDER TO LISTEN TO US.
A woman might ask her husband to repair something in the house. If he does’nt do that right away, she might feel that he does’nt care and she might even feel rejected. The husband might need to be reminded more that once in order to understand that this is important to her. He will most likely harbour no evil thoughts about his wife.
In India a man and woman do not always communicate so openly with each other and I know of couples who first go to God when they have a problem with their spouse. I can see both negative and positive sides of this, but it is never wrong to go to God first when you are angry. He will help you to talk to your spouse in the right spirit.
In psalm 118 it says that it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. I can “hear” some of you saying: “Am I not supposed to trust my spouse?” A mutual trust is absolut the ideal, but the other part is only a human being and is therfore far away from perfect. (Only in his or her new-born spirit) I am not talking about being unfaithful now.
The Holy Spirit is a “gentleman” and He will never gossip. He might ask others to pray for you and He might reveal things through the gifts of the Spirit, especially if you have asked for help, but he will not tell others about you secrets. Unfortunately, pastors are not always so careful. (Just heard a bad story).
I know from my own experiences that we so easily look at people and think that they are our future hope and we get disappointed if they are not fulfilling our hopes. The others might not even know what we want from them, but we are still disappointed. There are so many carrying a love-sickness since the other part did not respond to their secret love. Why did’nt she or he call? Why did’nt he invite me out? We can have secret daydreams and we bind others to us. They might not have it the same way and will not understand why you become agressive and maybe bitter.
We can so easily be lured to believe that our future is dependant on one specific person or at least ONE PARTNER. I do believe that very few are called to be alone and that God has created us as man and woman for a purpose, but we must not believe that a partner solve all our problems.
Last time I quoted psalm 37:5. It goes like this: “Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him. And He shall bring it to pass.” The Lord can lead you to the right partner. He knows all human beings and He is the best matchmaker.
I do not believe that we should wait for perfection before we get married, but one should deal with the problems that influence your way of living. I want to say to who is a woman: “Do not think that a man stops his drinking habits because of marriage.” He needs deliverance and healing and he has to make an absolute commitment before he marries you.
If a person has a problem with receiving love, do not be lured to think that it will disappear after marriage. That person needs the help of God and most likely a councellor or therapist long before the wedding.
The Lord wants to bring His love into your innermost being and you can feed yourself with Words like: He will never leave you, nor forsake you, He is always with you. Who can be against you when the Lord is for you? In Is. 43 it says that He has called you by name. “YOU ARE MINE.” If you have your identity in rejection, you need to be delivered from a spirit of rejection, to be healed and to build up a new identity. YOU BECOME WHAT YOU IDENTIFY WITH. Jesus lives in you who are a Christian and He loves you and has chosen you. Throw away the old identity and build up a new one in Christ. I write “build up” on purpose since it might take some time. IN CHRIST YOU CAN SWIM IN LOVE. There you will find more than enough for yourself and others. You might stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself: “I AM LOVED, I AM VALUABLE, I LOVE YOU”(say your name). I have written that words are creative and you are creating your God-desired identity.
Most of us have at one time or the other been bound by wrong relationships. We might not see it when we are in the middle of it. Many, especially young people, have friends who tempt them to participate in wrongdoings. You might know that what they say are wrong, but you do it anyway. You do not dare to say no. Then you have wrong ties to these so-called friends. It is possible to brake these ungodly ties in the spirit world and ask the Holy Spirit for help to say: NO.
You can also find ungodly ties between parents and children. I will mention grown-up “children”. If a mother inteferes in their marriage in a controlling way, the “child” must say no. (I do not talk about a friendly advice) Many need to brake controlling ties both with parents and with other unhealthy leaders. We can become so afraid of hurting someone, that we hurt the Holy Spirit instead. You can do that if you go against the Word or disobey the Holy Spirit in any other way.
A leader can also have so much fear that he does not use the authority he or she is given. “IF YOU HAVE SO MUCH FEAR OF MEN THAT YOU AVOID DOING THE RIGHT THING, MEN HAVE BECOME YOUR IDOL. Everything that is more important than God, is an idol. This might be new thoughts to you, but ponder on it. Even if you breake ungodly ties to a person, doesn’t it mean that you will have no more contact with that person. Ask the Holy Spirit about that.
Quite a few people ask maybe many people for advice in a difficult situation and might get as many answers as questions. They get even more confused. It is not wrong to discuss with others, but GOD HAS ALWAYS THE RIGHT ANSWER. Therefore I would seek Him first.
ALLOW GOD TO BE FIRST IN YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!