ARE YOU ABLE TO SAY SORRY?

ARE YOU ABLE TO SAY SORRY?

 

When my children were young, I thought them to say sorry if they had done something wrong. Children will make mistakes, and it might sometimes be part of their process of learning, but I now talk about the time when they should start understanding what is wrong and what is right. I believe that we as Christian parents should teach our children what is sinful and not. Some parents are making up their own rules and use the word sin without basing it on The Word of God. This could sometimes create fear and condemnation. Other parents are so afraid to set boundaries that they do not dare to tell their children what is expected of them and their behaviour. The Holy Spirit is the perfect Teacher of children. I would therefore ask The Holy Spirit for advice in bringing up children. God has created them.

Ephesians 6 starts by saying that we should honour our mother and father that it may go well with us and that we may live long on the earth. Paul continues to write that fathers should not provoke their children to wrath but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Some parents teach their children to say sorry before they understand why they should say sorry. I was saying sorry for mistakes I never made even as an adult. I remember once when I cried out sorry when a plant fell down because of a breeze from an open window. I was sitting far from the plant and the window. I then realized that I had a problem I needed to deal with. Everything wasn’t my fault. The Holy Spirit helped me getting a healthy and balanced attitude, and when to say sorry to God and people and when I shouldn’t.

When I had my own children, there were times when I realized that I had done something wrong towards them. It might be by words or action. I was quick to say sorry and I tried to explain the situation. Parents are not always perfect but  we must come to our children and say sorry, forgive me.

Just think how many marriages that could have been saved if the partners could say sorry and to see their own faults and shortcomings. We read in Ephesians 4:26 that we shouldn’t sin if we get angry and we should not let the sun go down on our wrath. I will quote the last verse in that chapter: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” I have quite a few couples in counselling. They will sometimes come and look upon their partner as an enemy and they come with a lot of accusations towards the partner. They do not seem to be users of the word sorry, or I forgive you. They might not see their own faults, but only the ones in their partner. Since I am not emotionally involved, I can see faults and shortcomings in both. Some people cannot see that they project their own problems on others and hurt others in that way. I listened to a Christian psychologist saying that if a person hadn’t dealt with their own problems, they will project them on others. If they lie or control, they might say that the other person is doing that.

Some churches are run by the spirit of Jezabel. They are not only finding faults with other people, but they lie and say that people have done things they haven’t done. Some say that the Lord has said things that are not true. They might think that the Lord has said those things that come from the devil. I am surprised by the things people say that the Lord has said about me. When people use God as an excuse for talking bad about people, it might be difficult to say that it is not God. Those people are not able to say sorry for the things they have said since they think it comes from God. They lack knowledge about the Word of God because the Word of God warns against envy and gossip. Jezabel looks upon herself as perfect. She wants power and she wants to control others. If she gets control over a pastor, she runs the church.

Misunderstandings, conflicts and bad communication or lack of it might be in families, at work and in the church. I think that it is important to talk if problems arise between people. Sometimes it is necessary to ask a third person to join the conversation. A psychopath cannot confess sins if he or she has done anything wrong, but many other Christians cannot do so either. They might be religious, proud or self-righteous. Some might even be afraid. Peter writes in 1.Peter 5:5 that God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. In Matthew 5:23 it is written that if we think that somebody has something against us, we should go to that person before we offer money in the church. I have never experienced that any church practise that.

I work with wounded people, and they might be suspicious and think that people are against them. I have several times had to explain that I have not meant what they thought I said. It is important that I do not answer with an attitude of defence.

If we live in the Spirit, the Spirit will show us when we are supposed to confess our sins and when to go to a person and say sorry. Show the person that you really regret the things you said or did. We Christians should be the first and best to ask each other for forgiveness because we have a God who forgives us all of our sins. I sometimes find Christians more proud than people in the world.

LET US CONFESS SINS, ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND FORGIVE EACH OTHER!

Mother Else