I can almost hear some of you saying: “Nobody is controlling me. I do exactly as I want and nobody can decide what I should do.” Some people would think that this sounds fine. I hear certain elements of freedom, but also an undertone of rebellion.

We must always remember that we are created in the image of God. That is stated in the very beginning of the Bible. God, the Creator, has created us with a free will. If that wasn’t a fact, the world would look more like the Garden of Eden. God is no dictator. Some people think that He can do what He wants. Yes, He is almighty, but He cannot do what he wants. He has created both physical and spiritual laws that He, Himself, has to follow and it would be the best for us if we did the same. He has made Himself dependent on us, but we are also depending on Him.

Many of us have made Jesus our Lord, but do you think that He will overrule our will? No.


                          Jesus cooperates with us!


Our will is exposed to attacks and influences from many sources. I often hear people saying that they would have liked to testify about Jesus to people, but they do not dare. You would really like to do so, but you allow fear to stop you. Then you have allowed fear to control you. I asked: “What and who is controlling you?” In this case it is: “Mister Fear.” “You do not understand how fearful I am”, you say. No, maybe I do not, but in my Bible I read that the Holy Spirit will give us power to become His witnesses.(Acts 1:8) I recommend you to talk to a Christian counselor and maybe you together with the Holy Spirit can find the root cause of the problem. We have not received a spirit of fear and maybe you need deliverance. Do you personally know the One Who can give you power to testify? Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you or ask someone to lay hands on you and pray for a baptism in the Holy Spirit.

Fear can enter many areas of our lives and hinder us in doing what we want or what He wants. I, myself, have been suffering from anxiety and I know it is difficult to overcome fear. One needs help from both God and people. This doesn’t hinder me in saying:


        Do not allow fear to control you!


We often allow other people to rule over our lives. Many young people avoid doing what they really know is right in fear of being rejected by their friends. Many young people got their lives ruined by starting with alcohol or drugs in an early age. The reason was their need for acceptance by their peers. If they would have had other friends, their lives would have been different. All human beings need friends. We need the feeling of belonging to a group, an organization or a church. We need to be accepted and we need people around us that can be like mirrors. If people around us are controlling us, we have wrong friends and are in the wrong group. Parents have to take care of small children, but even they should start by training the child to use its own the will. Some parents are misunderstanding this and they allow their children to rule over them. They have fallen in the wrong ditch then.

Friends can control you in many ways. I once had a friend and she constantly wanted to talk to me over the phone. It was almost impossible to stop her even if I said that I was busy. I was talking to her many times a week. My husband and sometimes my children got annoyed, but somehow I allowed this friend to control my time. I felt sorry for her and was afraid she would be hurt and maybe angry. This lasted too long, but one day I talked to her about it. It wasn’t successful. She got both hurt and angry and we didn’t have contact before we could make up before she died. I do not allow these things to happen today. I try to have an honest communication and can easier say yes and no. I am a more secure person and less afraid of the reactions of others. I “myself” am a talker and sometimes others have to stop me.


I am not allowed to rule over other people’s lives!


What are we doing when our spouse wants to control our life? A marriage is a union of two wills. Sometimes we need a mediator. If the two of you are saved, I recommend that both of you talk and pray to God over every important decision. The Lord should be The One uniting you and The One to show you the solutions. If your spouse wants you to do anything contradicting the Word of God, you must follow the Word and not your spouse. We love people, but rejects the sin. Marriage is a mutual covenant and no one should suppress the other. Paul says that the man should love his wife as Christ loves His bride. Paul is often used as an excuse for oppressors. Paul has said that the man should be the head of his family. If the man should be like Christ, we know that Christ is a Deliverer and not one who suppresses. I have talked to quite a few women suffering under control of their spouse and sometimes under mental torture. It is quite common with controlling spirits and spirits of terrorism. These can be bound in the name of Jesus. You can seek help from others standing in the gap together with you. There are times when you must get out of the marriage, but many other solutions should be tried first.


Can my boss control me?

I presume that it has been made clear to you what you should do before you enter a new job. You must know how many hours to work and the amount of salary you will get paid. If you do not have a clear working contract, you are more open for the decisions of your boss, often in your disfavor. A boss is the one to set the conditions for your work, but you must agree and you are allowed to come with your own suggestions. If your boss is letting you work more than the conditions set, you can say no or make a new contract. Many marriages have gone apart because a boss has taken more and more time and energy of one of the partners. If you allow your work to go before your family, I think that your priorities are wrong.

Is God taking part in your priorities and decisions? If we say that Jesus is Lord, He should be part of everything concerning our lives. He doesn’t want to rule your life as a robot, but He wants to take part. You are very valuable as His child and whatever you do matters to Him. I want to show an interest in my children, so does He.


Books have been written about controlling spirits in churches. These spirits will have a great influence when they operate through known pastors and church-leaders. Many are worshipping them in a wrong way and think that whatever they say are correct even if they change their mind. It says in the Bible that love makes blind, but I believe that this kind of blindness is unhealthy. We should go back to the Word of God and ask the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of Jesus lives on the inside of you if you are born again and God can speak to you.


I do believe in a certain order both in families, at work and in churches. We have different task to perform and there must be certain people who should make the final decisions, but no one should be allowed to overrule our lives or decide every detail of our lives. Ask yourself if you have the Lord as Master or if you allow people to decide over you. Maybe you have fear, a low self-esteem, lies or pride controlling you. We should be led by the Spirit and the Spirit is truth.

Controlling spirits come from the devil and is compared to witchcraft. We really shouldn’t allow witchcraft to rule our lives among friends, in the family, at work or in the church. One doesn’t expect to find them under the cover of religion and it is therefore more difficult to expose them in the church.





Mother Else