HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES.

HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES.

 

I will start by going to 1. Corinthians 14:33. It says that God is not an author of confusion, but of peace. Another translation says that God is a God of order. If you are in a place of chaos, you know that the devil has some influence there. A Christian man that I know recently refused a job that he was offered because he heard that it was chaos in the place.

The Bible says that God is love and that we should walk in love. Some people would like to sin, and they hide the sin under the concept of love. The discussion around homosexuality is such a case. It is said that everybody can make love with the same sex or in the way they want. That is not the Word of God. Jesus says in John 14:23 that if you love me, you will keep My Word. Do you love Jesustt? I am not against homosexuals. I have met quite a few and many of them are very nice people, but I love Jesus and I cannot deny what the Bible says. The Bible doesn’t say that you can do whatever you desire in the moment. I compare often God, the Father with an earthly father. I have two daughters. When they were small, I hade many boundaries for them. The purpose was to protect them from being hurt. I had a gate in front of the staircase preventing them from falling down. I taught them not to put their fingers in the plug. I couldn’t give them any kind of food before the stomach and the intestines were ready to digest it. I did all of this in love in order to protect them.

Why do you think God puts clear boundaries for us in the Bible? He knows that without boundaries we would have an anarchy. He also knows that if we should merely follow the lust of our flesh, we might heart both ourselves and maybe others. Just think of all the marriages that are broken because of infidelity or a dependency on pornography. If you are dependent on sex, playing for money, alcohol or drugs, you might make problems for yourself, but it might have bad consequences for an entire family also. If you live in sin, you are creating an invisible barrier between yourself and God. We read in Romans 6:23 the wage of sin is death. I do not believe that we will die right after we have sinned. God is a God of grace, and He wants us to confess the sin and repent from it. The sin will be wiped away then. Jesus has paid the price for all the sins of the world, but if the Bible calls something for sinful, I think that we should do the same. We are not supposed to play with sin.

Every country has their own rules and regulations. They might differ from country to country. When you travel to another country, you should know the most important laws of the country. I try to follow the laws unless they should go against the Word of God.

                      Clear boundaries and distinct rules crate security.  

That goes for a family, in the schools and at work. It is also important in the church, and you should know the rules of your country. When I applies for a driver’s licence, I couldn’t get it before I could prove that I knew the laws. Just think how many accidents we would have and what a chaos if everybody should drive according to their own desires.

                   Rules and regulations create order and save lives.

God has created a person with a free will. God is not a dictator, but He has created healthy rules for us to follow. We have a free will to sin and make uproar, but it might create negative consequences.

I come in contact with many people who have been hurt by people controlling them in a wrong way. My own mother said that I had no will of my own and many children have been told the same. All forms for encroachments, physical, psychological or spiritual are sinful and are very close to witchcraft.

There are some people wanting to use other people. Some think that Christians are kind and they can therefore be exploited. We read in Titus 2:15 that we should not allow anybody to despise us. In another translation it says that we should not allow anybody to step on us. God doesn’t want His children to be treated in a bad way. Many people get burned out because they cannot say no or put up boundaries for themselves. Many pastors or bosses might misuse their employees or members. They might manipulate you by saying: “You who are so kind or so clever, I am sure you can do this.” It might be more difficult to say no then.

Everyone of us must create our own boundaries. You might be able to do things that are either too difficult for me or too much. We should not compare ourselves with others. I also believe that we should know what and whom to prioritize. I think that God and His kingdom should come first. Then your family. After that comes ministry or work. Some people have such a great need for being acknowledged that they prioritize other people before themselves and their family.

If you want to please everybody, you might say yes when you should have said no. None of us should nor can we please everybody. We must sometimes tolerate the pain of being rejected or see a sour face of somebody. I can choose to say no in a loving way.

We are also having different phases in life. Our boundaries might change according to the phase we are in. When I had small children, I said no to things I today can say yes to.

FOLLOW THE WORD OF GOD AND THE RULES OF YOUR COUNTRY AND MAKE YOUR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES!

Mother Else