CHRISTIAN COUNSELLING, Part 2

CHRISTIAN COUNSELLING.

Part 2

I closed last time by writing about curses and tendencies running in families. Every person has an inheritance or a curse coming from their mother or father. When I was newly educated as a social-worker, I was mainly thinking that the environment had the main influence on a person, but now I see more and more how inheritance and family-curses influence a person from the very beginning. It start already in the womb of their mother.

If a child reacts in a way that isn’t quite normal, the parents should seek professional help and advice. They should naturally use the help of The Holy Spirit also. I know of many parents trying to close their eyes to the problem. That will usually lead to a bigger problem, and it will be hurtful for the child. The child should have been examined and gotten a result before he or she starts preschool. If this isn’t done, they might not get proper help neither in preschool nor later in school. This goes for physical and mental weaknesses.

I want to write a little about how divorces influence a child. I worked together with a person trying to help couples with problems. He wrote on a bord the number 50000. He said that this number was the reason why he would work with couples. He said that 50000 children experience divorces every year in Sweden. How the children experience a divorce differ from person to person depending on the age of the child, but also on how the parents handle it. Do they only think about their own emotions, or do they focus on the needs of their children? When the child has reached a certain age, many countries allow the child to partake in the decision of where to live, with the mother or the father. Some parents do not want to keep any contact with neither the divorced partner nor with the children. If that person has behaved in an unpleasant way, the children and the left partner might be relieved, but for many it will be interpreted as rejection. If one of the parents tries to get the child on their side, the child might experience a loyalty crisis. There are a few cases where one parent has to protect the child or children from the other part, but that is not the normal. The normal thing is that the child lives partly with both parents. It might give the child a sense of insecurity to change places of living so often. If the parents live far from each other, the children might loose their contact with their friends. Children need to be confirmed and they need to hear that they aren’t the reason for the divorce of the parents. If you are a Christian, pray with the children and allow God to be part of everyday life. You will help your children to look at God as their security.

To be raised in a family with a lot of quarrelling and strife is not good for children either. The result might be insecure adults. I have met people being locked up in a room alone as a punishment. That has led to psychological problems later in life. Problems of fear are quite common. There are times when a time-out is necessary, but to be locked in a room might create fear. Children growing up in families with a high rate of conflicts are not taught how to solve conflicts in a constructive way. It could lead to a marriage where the partners do not know how to communicate. I have often had a desire to teach communication in Christian circles.

Children growing up in homes with a lot of alcohol might become insecure. Some are becoming dependent on alcohol themselves or even stronger drugs and some are becoming totally against alcohol. I have talked with adults that were hiding from their fathers when he came home drunk. That might be one of many reasons why they have a wrong picture of God. They have to be taught that God is good and that they can trust Him. He is not changing from one day to the next.

I will also mention what might happen in families with a lot of sicknesses. If one person is suffering with sicknesses, the others might get less attention. It is a burden to be sick, but it might also be a burden when you aren’t seen nor heard. I know that can create deep wounds. Do not put a cover over your emotions, but talk about them and pray for healing both for the sick and also for the people being neglected.

I am today writing about problems in the homes creating wounds. The home is supposed to be a safe place where one is supposed to feel accepted. It should be a place the basic needs are met, but also the emotional ones. When that is not the case, problems might arise later in life.

There are many other places than the home where a child can meet problems. Some children are being harassed at school or even in pre-school. Many have been threatened to be quiet, but I recommend everybody to go to a person they can trust and tell about the harassment. Some teachers are unfortunately keeping certain students as their favourites and others as the constant bad ones.

Some children might experience encroachments from other so-called friends or even family members. I have heard about many stories from older brothers or uncles introducing young boys to pornography. They have later become addicted. I can assure you that it is possible to be set free from pornography if you really want to be set free.

What I have been writing about now are only a few reasons for getting wound in adult life.

YOU MUST FORGIVE, BUT GOD WILL HEAL, COMFORT AND DELIVER YOU!

Mother Else